


Session 1

by Smim



Series: Couples' Therapy [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Merlin (TV), Sherlock (TV), Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2012-11-02
Packaged: 2017-11-17 14:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smim/pseuds/Smim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor wants to look after his OTPs and help them through their turmoil, if only they'd be more co-operative...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Session 1

“Welcome!” The Doctor proclaimed as he grinned with childish joy at the array of guests sat at the table before him; most looking unimpressed.  
Valkyrie sighed and tapped her knuckles against the table, “Remind me why we’re here again?”  
“Couples’ therapy,” the Doctor explained. “I figured you all need a little he-“  
“We’re not couples,” John interrupted crossing his arms. “At least we’re not…” he looked to Sherlock, who sat at his left, unsurely.  
“Really?” Marcus asked in disbelief. “You’re not together?”  
John slowly shook his head. Marcus held out his hand, palm flat up and Samuel groaned; placing a note in the outstretched hand.  
“It was twenty,” Marcus said with a raised eyebrow.  
“…I’ll make it up to you later,” Samuel promised with a subtle smirk.  
Valkyrie’s mouth fell open, “Wow…they don’t need couples’ therapy,” she pointed out turning to the Doctor.  
“We don’t need therapy,” Samuel agreed but then a look from Marcus made him slump. “Least…” Samuel added. “We are a couple.”  
Skulduggery tipped up the edge of his hat, “Are you saying the rest of us are just in denial?”  
The Doctor clapped his hands together, “Yes! Which is why we are all he-“  
“No,” Loki snapped. “I don’t need to be here.”  
Valkyrie snorted and a smile crept up onto the edges of Sherlock’s lips.  
“Even, after last night?” Sherlock asked making Loki scowled. “The er…mark on your neck matches your brother’s teeth.”  
Thor half choked, “I do not like what you are implying detective of consultants.”  
Sherlock smirked mischievously, “Oh? I think you do.”  
“How would you know?” Loki retorted.  
“I assure you he knows…” John affirmed.  
“And yet you’re not together?” Marcus asked in disbelief.  
“It changed after he...killed himself,” John admitted.  
“I can see how that could make things awkward,” Samuel agreed. “We’ve been through a lot of those.”  
“A lot of what sorry?” Valkyrie asked.  
“Deaths,” Sherlock stated simply.  
“Right, yes…” the Doctor began. “We’ve had a lot of those; let’s try and move past them.  
“Tell us Doctor of Who, what do you wish us to do?” Thor asked.  
“I want you to stop hurting each other,” he replied. “I want you to be honest with the other.”  
“I am honest with Loki,” Thor frowned.  
“Do you think he’s honest with you?” The Doctor asked.  
“I am here you kn-“ Loki protested but Thor cut him off.  
“No,” the Thunderer confessed sadly.  
Loki’s façade of boredom slipped for a moment; an indescribable emotion passing over his features before he quickly collected himself; appearing uncaring once again.  
“I do love you Loki,” Thor said truthfully turning to the other.  
“But we’re not brothers…” Loki sighed.  
“That’s exactly why he loves you,” Skulduggery pointed out.  
Thor flushed bright red and Valkyrie giggled.  
“So basically, we’re encouraging incest and necrophilia?” John asked.  
“Don’t forget inter species relationship,” Loki added. “...And it’s not incest.”  
“So you admit it happened then?” Samuel challenged.  
“Maybe…”  
“Would you like me to prove to you how it happened?” Sherlock said dangerously.  
“Trust me you don’t,” John warned.  
Loki grumbled.  
“What good will denial do anyway?” Samuel sighed.  
“It means you don’t have to acknowledge your emotions,” Valkyrie said.  
“Which just slows down the inevitable outcome that all six of you are meant to be together!” The Doctor cried, his emotions bubbling like that of a frustrated fangirl’s.  
“I’m a skeleton,” Skulduggery stated. “She’s alive! She deserves someone living too!”  
“What if I don’t want something living,” Valkyrie snapped.  
“What?” Pleasant said the surprise evident in his tone. “But Valkyrie, we couldn’t even…”  
“You honestly think I care about that?” She asked.  
“Well…I never thought,” Skulduggery admitted.  
“Yay! They’ll admit they had sex and they’re discussing their repressed feelings for each other we can g-“ Samuel began but he was cut off by the door opening.  
“Sorry we’re late! Merlin called.  
“It was your fault Merlin,” Arthur sighed as he sat down at the table.  
Merlin rolled his eyes and sat in his own chair, “So what’s this about again?”  
The Doctor smiled, “Well-“  
“Couples therapy,” Sherlock said. “Apparently…”  
“We aren’t…me and Merlin aren’t…” Arthur stopped when everyone gave him an unimpressed glance.  
“You two have more gay subtext than Sherlock and John,” Samuel pointed out.  
“No they don’t,” John protested a little too quickly. His eyes widened as all gazes turned to face him and he just realised what he’d said. An awkward silence filled the room as everyone just continued to stare at John with wide eyes until the door opened and two new figures entered the room.  
“We’re sorry we’re late!” Tony exclaimed as him and Steve took the two remaining seats at the table.  
“Late is an understatement,” Loki hissed.  
“Being late is cool,” Tony pointed out. “Destroying an entire city isn’t.”  
“We don’t talk about Manhattan!” Thor bellowed.  
“Like Caelen,” Valkyrie nodded.  
“Who?” Merlin asked.  
“We don’t talk about him,” Skulduggery snapped.  
“I sense some unwanted exes…” Samuel sighed.  
“Unwanted is an understatement,” Valkyrie grumbled crossing her arms.  
Samuel fought back a chuckle poorly. “Sorry, who are you Sir?” Steve asked.  
“I’m Samuel Jones,” Samuel said.  
“And I’m Marcus Parker,” Marcus added.  
“Why are we here?” Steve questioned. “Tony never got round to telling me…”  
“Ah yes about that-“ Tony began.  
“Couples therapy,” Loki cut in earning himself a glare.  
“What, but…” Steve frowned. “Wait, are you John Watson?”  
John smiled, “yes, yes I am.”  
“I love your blog!” Steve smiled back.  
“Thank you, that means a lot.”  
Tony turned to Sherlock, “and I love yours.”  
Sherlock hid his surprise badly, “you do…?”  
“Oh yes it’s fantastic! I love your work,” Tony said truthfully.  
“See isn’t this great?” The Doctor grinned. “Everyone getting along, getting to know one another.”  
“It’s heart warming,” Loki said monotonously.  
“I see you haven’t lost your sense of humour,” Stark sighed.  
“So…” Arthur said cautiously. “You two aren’t together then?” Steve blushed terribly.  
“Unfortunately not,” Tony replied. “No.”  
Steve turned to face Tony with a perplexed expression, “what are you saying Tony?”  
“What does it look like?” Sherlock sighed. “He obviously fancies you; every time he glances at you his pupils begin to dilate, his breathing quickens and he licks his lips. He constantly looks at you and every time you speak he smiles, plus he can’t look you in the eye for fear of blushing.  
“Sherlock…” John warned.  
“I’m just trying to help,” the consulting detective shrugged.  
“It didn’t help…” Tony growled.  
“Actually,” Steve countered. “It did.”  
“H-how?” Tony managed to get out.  
“Are you free this evening?” Steve asked turning to face him.  
“Yes…”  
“I’m taking you out on a date then,” Steve smiled.  
Tony made a small noise before he managed to form words, “good, I mean…see you then.”  
“Well, that was easy,” Valkyrie commented.  
“Now can we go home?” Samuel sighed. The Doctor glanced at his watch.  
“Alright, same time next week?”  
“We have to do this again?” Loki asked in disbelief.  
“I have to keep my OTPs close…”  
“Your what?” Arthur asked.  
“Nothing!” The Doctor said hurriedly. “Nothing…”


End file.
